Edited fake news
Anne-Kathrin Gerstlauer took apart an article by Sebastian Wenzel. Now, over a thousand TextHacks readers are to further improve the result. The goal: a practical example available to everyone for free.
Join in: Edit and improve Sebastian’s text in this Google document.
In November 2020, I, Sebastian Wenzel, published the commentary ‘The game “Make Fake News Great Again” is a threat to democracy’ on kulturgutspiel.de. Five years later, journalist and lecturer Anne-Kathrin Gerstlauer dissected the text. She presented her results in her award-winning newsletter TextHacks.
Sebastian Wenzel is a games journalist. For a project, I edited his text in exchange for a donation to Reporters Without Borders. But not in the way he expected. Sebastian had assumed: I would send him a revised text back. What I did: sent comments and questions. Because that’s always been my editing style.
Anne-Kathrin Gerstlauer
- Round: comments, questions and structural suggestions
- Round: author revises independently
- Round: I edit linguistic fine points
You can find the results of the 1st and 2nd editing rounds below. For the 3rd round, everyone is invited: together, the text should be further improved. The goal is a practical example available to everyone for free under a Creative Commons licence, for example as training material for editing. By the way: this article complements the piece Good German: ten tips for better articles about board games.
1st editing round
‘The game “Make Fake News Great Again” is a threat to democracy’
Anne-Kathrin Gerstlauer’s comment: Why put a headline in quotation marks if it’s an opinion piece?
Disinformation destroys democracies. This also applies to “Make Fake News Great Again”. The party game makes light of a serious topic without reflection. That’s anything but funny. A commentary by Sebastian Wenzel.
For an opinion teaser, this is far too news-like.
Donald Trump and Pinocchio have one thing in common: they lie. The children’s book character Pinocchio does so in print, Trump does so in tweets. Pinocchio lies to a fairy, Trump lies to the whole world. The President of the United States not only spreads untruths but also insults journalists and calls facts he doesn’t like “fake news”.
What does Pinocchio have to do with the rest of the text? The text isn’t about Pinocchio, and strictly speaking not about Donald Trump either, but about a party game. The introduction goes off on a tangent here and is too complicated. This paragraph can be cut entirely – a classic example of a double introduction.
Undifferentiated media bashing also exists in Germany. “Lügenpresse” was already the Unword of the Year in 2014. Back then, newspapers weren’t writing about Corona but about refugees. In their reasoning, the jury emphasised that the term defames the media across the board. “Such blanket condemnation prevents informed media criticism and thus contributes to endangering press freedom, which is so important for democracy,” the jury wrote.
I still don’t know what this text is supposed to be about
Fake news is a teekesselchen
Subheadings should make me curious and summarise the most important information. Is this really the most interesting info in these sections?
Similar to the Unword “Lügenpresse”, fake news also threatens our democracy.
“Also” is a filler word and duplicates “similar”.
The term is a teekesselchen, i.e. a word with two meanings. Unlike a cup of tea, it certainly doesn’t help you relax.
Cute wordplay that distracts from the topic. Currently, the topics are: Pinocchio and Donald Trump, Lügenpresse, fake news similar to Lügenpresse, teekesselchen plus cup of tea. I’m completely missing a common thread.
Put simply, fake news is on the one hand nothing more than false reports. Whether intentional or not doesn’t matter. On the other hand, fake news is a term of abuse. Politicians use it when they want to discredit facts they don’t like.
Is this really the meaning of teekesselchen if a term simply has two meanings? Here, it’s actually about words that sound the same but have completely different origins. In this case, however, the term of abuse does indeed come from the same origin as the meaning “false report”.
Since the term has multiple meanings, serious scientists and journalists don’t use “fake news” but instead use “disinformation”.
I’m undecided here. This sounds judgmental. What distinguishes serious from unserious scientists?
The research centre Correctiv warns: “Targeted disinformation is used to divide our society, spread hatred or do business.” According to the Federal Agency for Civic Education, disinformation aims to destroy truths and beliefs accepted within societies. “Often, the goal is to undermine the legitimacy of institutions or individuals who are of central importance, particularly in majority-based, democratic systems of government,” it continues.
“Open Pandora’s box”
Today, it’s hard to escape disinformation. Huch knows this too and refers to “Make Fake News Great Again” as an “omnipresent topic” in its promotional text.
Finally, we’re on topic. But: what does “today” mean? Was it different before? Also: filler word alert. “Disinformation is hard to escape” is sufficient.
Players are supposed to “open Pandora’s box and serve their fellow players the naked truth”. In this simple communication game, at least four people aged 16 and over come up with fake news. Each person at the table picks a card. A storyteller then invents fake news using the terms and images on the cards.
Huch raves about a “cheeky implementation” that “lightens any mood”. What’s cheeky about the game, however, is how it destroys trust in the media and, by extension, in our democracy.
From here on, the commentary begins. Before this, it’s a report, at most an analysis. Suggestion: The text should start no earlier than at “Desinformation kann man schwer entkommen”. Then something more comment-like needs to come even earlier. Also, in the second sentence, it can be removed – it’s redundant with “damit”.
The game makes light of a serious topic without reflection. That’s not funny; it also contributes to people seeing fake news as normal. But they’re not.
“With fake news, there are never any winners”
Anyone who doubts that a game can have a democracy-destroying effect should read the article on kulturexpresso.de. The self-described “German-language cultural magazine on the web” reviews “Make Fake News Great Again” and, rather (in)appropriately, relies entirely on disinformation. Quote from the text: “The game ends when a player has five Loser cards in front of them. They have lost the game and must, at the end, weave the ultimate fake news story from all their Loser cards! This should be practised fluently and without shame, especially by the lying and fake press. ‘Make Fake News Great Again’ must not be missing from ARD, ZDF and Deutschlandfunk, or from the media of the bourgeoisie.” A game review that tries to discredit serious media with insults? That’s never happened before, just like a US president who lies constantly.
The connection isn’t logically clear to me. Please explain more precisely what exactly the review on kulturexpresso.de has to do with destroying democracy. Also, fact check: Has there really never been a game review that discredited media with insults?
And it gets worse: fake news leads to false memories.
“Und” is a filler word.
This is the conclusion reached by researchers from University College Cork and the University of California after an experiment they conducted in 2018. So what happens when players invent fake news with cards like Wutbürger, Quarantäne and Wahlbetrug, which then become embedded in their brains?
This could be a main thesis, but it’s only briefly touched on here.
It’s also cheeky that players don’t find any further information in the instructions for “Make Fake News Great Again”. There are no warnings about the dangers of fake news, nor tips on how to recognise them. At least we don’t collect victory points, but Loser cards. Whoever has the fewest cards wins. Quote from the instructions: “But let’s be honest: with fake news, there are never any winners. With fake news, there are only losers.” These sentences show: the publisher has recognised the problem but still released the game. That’s reckless.
Discussion about relevant topics
Despite all the criticism, there’s at least one thing “Make Fake News Great Again” gets right, albeit probably unintentionally. It shows that games can spark discussions about relevant topics. It doesn’t matter whether it’s about fake news, climate change or violence against children. How the latter can be done well was shown by Pegasus with the violence prevention game “Sei stark, Sag nein”. Authors and publishers don’t have to handle relevant topics in games sensitively or thoughtfully.
Don’t they? Aren’t you criticising exactly that earlier?
But reviewers must critically question insensitive or unreflective implementations like “Make Fake News Great Again”. If publishers face up to this criticism, they’re also engaging in an important, possibly uncomfortable discussion for them. These days, that’s already enough to act more morally than the President of the United States. Even Pinocchio would probably find that hard to believe, but unfortunately it’s true.
Filler word alert: Even Pinocchio would probably find that hard to believe
2nd editing round
Due to the fundamental criticism, the text was revised and split into a report and a commentary.
Commentary: A danger to democracy
The board game “Make Fake News Great Again” makes light of a serious topic without reflection. That’s not funny; it’s dangerous. A commentary by Sebastian Wenzel.
Note from Anne-Kathrin Gerstlauer: Great idea to split it now, now it’s a real commentary
It’s hard to escape disinformation. That now also applies to games night. In “Make Fake News Great Again”, we’re supposed to invent false news. According to publisher Huch, the game is “a cheeky take that lightens any mood”.
What’s cheeky, though, is how the game destroys trust in media and democracy. Fake news demonstrably leads to false memories. This applies even when they’re invented during a games night. This can have fatal consequences: without a shared foundation of facts, we can’t discuss things with each other. This divides society and hollows out the foundation of our democracy.
Equally cheeky: the instructions don’t provide any further information. There are no warnings about the dangers of fake news, nor tips on how to recognise them. At least we don’t collect victory points, but Loser cards. Whoever has the fewest cards wins. Quote from the instructions: “But let’s be honest: with fake news, there are never any winners. With fake news, there are only losers.” These sentences show: the publisher has recognised the problem but still released the game. That’s reckless.
Better: That’s not just cheeky, but above all reckless.
Report: Disinformation at games night
Since Donald Trump, the term fake news has been on everyone’s lips.
Remove “on everyone’s lips” as it’s a cliché. Since Donald Trump, the term fake news has been totally present.
The American president lies, rages, rants and happily calls facts he doesn’t like fake news. The game “Make Fake News Great Again” brings this penchant to the gaming table. This communication game from Huch is for at least four people aged 16 and over.
Great, now the Donald Trump comparison fits and the introduction gets to the point quickly
According to the publisher, players should “open Pandora’s box and serve their fellow players the naked truth”. One person is the Storyteller. They reveal a concept card, for example Tierschützer. All other players each choose one of their hand cards that fits, with words like Wahlbetrug, Russland or schlaffes Ding. Alternatively, they show pictures, for example doctors with FFP2 masks. The Storyteller then invents a story using all the cards except one. The unused card is a minus point for its owner. Whoever has five minus points loses.
How does it work if everyone discards exactly one? Or are they allowed to discard AT MOST one?
The mechanism is based on fake news. Put simply, these are made-up stories. Or, in other words: false reports. Whether intentional or not doesn’t matter. At the same time, fake news is a term of abuse. Politicians like Trump use it when they want to discredit facts they don’t like. In academia, this deliberate intent to deceive is called disinformation. “Targeted disinformation is used to divide our society, spread hatred or do business,” writes the investigative centre Correctiv. The Federal Agency for Civic Education also warns: the aim of disinformation is often to undermine trust in institutions and democratic processes.
Even if you don’t believe fake news, they have a devastating effect: they lead to false memories. This is the conclusion reached by researchers from University College Cork and the University of California after an experiment they conducted in 2018. According to the scientists, when someone hears a story, they automatically consider it more credible. Whether it’s true or false.
The cultural magazine kulturexpresso, which describes itself as a “German-language cultural magazine on the web”, recently reviewed “Make Fake News Great Again”. The review states: “The game ends when a player has five Loser cards in front of them. They have lost the game and must, at the end, weave the ultimate fake news story from all their Loser cards! This should be practised and delivered fluently, without a hint of shame, especially by the gap- and lying press. ‘Make Fake News Great Again’ must not be missing from ARD, ZDF and Deutschlandfunk, or from the media of the bourgeoisie.” A game review that refers to public-service broadcasters as the lying press? Trump would probably like that. He also regularly rants at journalists. His favourite insult: You are fake news.
I don’t need to mention Trump again here, everyone knows that, but I actually find the punchline stronger: A game review that refers to public-service broadcasters as the lying press? That says everything about the game… or something like that
3rd editing round
Gerstlauer called on the more than one thousand recipients of her newsletter to linguistically edit the articles once more. Join in via this Google Doc. Sebastian will then publish a final version of the article.
Creative Commons
This article is licensed under the “CC BY-SA 4.0” licence. It applies to the text and the notes on this page and in the Google Doc. You may copy and distribute the article in any format or medium, even for commercial purposes. Condition: credit the authors – “Anne-Kathrin Gerstlauer, texthacks.substack.com // Sebastian Wenzel, kulturgutspiel.de”. If you modify the text or build upon it, you must publish your version under the same licence. All binding details can be found on the linked Creative Commons page.